you are not

stories for boys

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The most important thing I've learned over the years is that I am the most important person in my own life. This isn’t about being selfish. It’s about knowing that how I see myself shapes everything. The story I tell myself matters. It influences my decisions and feelings every single day. Understanding this has changed how I live.

When I was younger, I had different priorities. I believed that if others liked me, I’d be happy. I chased approval, thinking it would make me feel good. But often, I did this at the cost of being true to myself.

I also placed great value on physical strength. I wanted to be tough, fast, and resilient. To me, strength meant power, and power meant being better than others. I saw life as a competition, where someone had to lose for me to win. This mindset led me to compare myself to others. I viewed them as obstacles, not companions.

Sarcasm and irony were my go-to tools to show my intelligence. I thought witty remarks proved my superiority. It kept others at a distance and made me feel in control. I often escaped into fantasy worlds, avoiding my real emotions and challenges. It was easier than facing the truth.

I used to think emotions were a sign of weakness, especially for boys. I avoided crying and showing vulnerability. I also believed that material things, like branded clothes, defined success. The right clothes, the right possessions, all seemed like proof that I was doing well.

But more than anything, I relied on others to feel good about myself. I needed constant reassurance to feel okay. My self-esteem was fragile, easily shaken by the opinions of others.

Now, things are different. I’ve realised the only person I need to impress is myself. The one in the mirror every day. Competing with others is a waste of energy. I don’t need to prove my worth through strength or winning. I’ve learned that helping others grow brings joy to both sides. Life isn’t a zero-sum game. There’s enough success and happiness for everyone.

I’ve also embraced simplicity and directness in communication. Being straightforward helps me connect with others. I now express what I want, knowing that if I don’t ask, I won’t receive.

One of the biggest changes has been in how I handle emotions. I now see them as vital to understanding myself. Instead of running from them, I embrace even the tough ones. Accepting my emotions has been a game-changer.

Finally, I understand the power of the story I tell myself. It’s the most important story I’ll ever hear. It shapes my life, my choices, and my actions. By rewriting this story, I’ve changed my life in profound ways. Now, I focus on being true to who I am, not who others expect me to be.